Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

Greg Says: It’s Charlize Theron’s movie

Title: Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)
Rating: 4/10
Date: 3 June 2012
Recommendation: Don’t Waste Your Time
Helpful: 2 out of 7 found this helpful.

Queen Ravena (Charlize Theron) is enchanted with the ability to stay alive and beautiful, so long as she has beautiful young maidens from whom to steal their youth. But if she can steal the beating heart of young and beautiful Snow White (Kristen Stewart), she can become immortal. But Snow White has escaped into the Black Forrest where the Queen has no power. So, she sends a dashing Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to find Snow White and return her before the Queen’s powers fade. And we’re off…

“Snow White” is a mess. We spend the first 10 minutes of the movie in a back story prologue that tells us how Snow White came to be and how the Queen took the throne, etc… For some reason, the Queen has locked Snow White (then a child) into a tower, rather than having her killed. Fast-forward to the day when Snow is 18 years old and finally escapes – that’s when the mirror on the wall informs the Queen that Snow is the key to immortality and the Huntsman must retrieve her.

This part of the film is all Theron’s. And she is amazing as the evil Queen. The special effects they used on her allow her to grow old and young again right before our eyes. As an actress, this is pretty courageous work. As with her role in “Monster,” she allows herself to be seen as something less (far less) than perfect. Many actors would never allow their “brand” to be tarnished in this fashion. Hats off to Theron for a powerful, if over-the-top, performance.

Not so for young Kristen Stewart. Stewart has hardly any lines in this story and her role is mainly to look both angelic and distressed at the same time. And she does it well. Likewise, Hemsworth speaks with a Scottish accent and does scant little talking in this film. He looks both buff and wet most of the time.

So, if there isn’t a lot of dialog for the leads, what do these people do? They walk a lot. They walk through the dark forest, they walk through the Faery forest, they walk through the Snow forest. A lot. They also spend time in a small village of women whose huts get burned down – both for no apparent reason. Perhaps just because director Rupert Sanders thought would be interesting for it to happen.

Don’t despair, there is comic relief in the form of seven dwarfs. These aren’t the dwarfs of Disney fame. Alas, they are far less interesting.

Finally, Snow White becomes Joan of Arc. She dons chain mail and armor and leads a battle against the Queen.

One final note: Why are there so many archers in movies this summer? Since “The Hunger Games” we’ve seen archers in “The Avengers,” “Snow White,” and the upcoming “Brave.”

Sadly, “Snow White and the Huntsman” won’t put an arrow of love through your heart. If this was supposed to be Kristen Stewart’s opportunity to shine outside the “Twilight” franchise, she failed. Also, this movie is strangely graphic – possibly too much so for younger children. Not so much for blood but for lots of people getting stabbed or killed. But nobody really ever dies, they usually turn into shards of black glass.

So, for a movie that is dull, plodding, and pointless. I recommend you don’t waste your time.